I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) who has a passion for social justice and specializes in perinatal mental health. I believe that self-care is more than a bubble bath twice a month while you can hear your toddler crying that they miss mama. It’s about valuing your own experiences, desires, and needs enough to try and build a life you don’t feel like you have to white knuckle through. I believe that you matter.

I also believe that there are constant social messages that tell you that you don’t, that motherhood is about constantly sacrificing yourself for the wellbeing of others. Mothers are put in a constant realm of shaming where no matter what you do someone considers it not to be “right”.

Working? You aren’t prioritizing your family! Your kid is sick AGAIN and you can’t come in?!

Stay at home mom? You are giving up on your professional life and de-valuing the women’s movement!

Breast feeding? Only if you don’t do it publicly. Oh, and please enjoy pumping in the bathroom or your car IF you get a break at work (my new fave is the very relaxing Zoom pump as well, better double check that camera and mic, ladies!).

Formula feeding? Don’t you know breast is BEST? Feel free to peruse this list of shame “facts”. You are valid and important as who you are in your own life and only you know your experience.

What is your own life now though? And who are you in it?! Especially with a little human who is completely dependent on others for literally everything. And a social structure that doesn’t think things like childcare, work/life balance, or time for adjustment is important? The human race did not evolve by mothers being isolated and uncared for.

I know this academically with my education and professional endeavors. I have an undergrad degree in psychology and women’s studies and a masters in social work with mental health as my focus. I have been fortunate to intern at a birthing center in Indianapolis, IN as well as getting to follow my wanderlust to London where I spent 4 years getting my masters and studying healthcare systems.

I also know this personally through my own experiences in being a mother. I was the last person born in my family. I share this to emphasize that I had never really been around babies. Then I walked into a hospital without a baby and walked out with one. That I took home. To my house. With me.

I mean I read books and articles and stuff. But the fact that on top of all that information I would also have sleep deprivation, hormone rollercoasters, and the realization that I could not do things like just leave the house was something that could not have been factored in without feeling it.

And of course when I felt I had some mastery over things, I gave birth to a baby who ended up in the NICU. Navigating a new world of genetics and medical conditions and developmental delays coupled with supporting my other littles while they adjusted. I think of special needs parents as being the invisible ones. You don’t see them because programs aren’t made for their children.

There is also the complexity of seeing other little ones who you are happy are doing well. And seeing where your little one is. Your heart is constantly stretched in opposite directions.

My belly dance teacher has a saying. That saying is, “Embrace the train wreck,” This is of course used in the context in class of whatever the move, whatever the routine, whomever you are dancing with, you give it what you’ve got. You likely will not do it perfectly. You might bump into someone else. Your coin belt might fall off. You may feel like a fool. What you can give one day could be different than another. But, you do the thing. This is what I try to apply to my life. It may be imperfect. It may not be ideal. There may be things I could do better. Kids may get sick, the washing machine might break, my day might start at 3am with a little one staring at me, inches from my face. But each day is a day to embrace the train wreck and I deserve to have my space in it.

You do too. You deserve to feel well, and I’m here to support you.

Erin offers Telehealth and in-person care at our Hamden location.  Fill out our New Client Inquiry form to get started today.